Rising from the ashes

Too whomever it may piss off...

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Can you see my heart now?

Title: Can you see my heart now?
Chapter: S/A.
Rating: PG-13.
Pairing: Nate Novarro/Alex Suarez.
Summary: Nate would be perfectly happy if the only people in the world where just him and Alex.
Disclaimer: I like to think Nate and Alex have secret couple getaways to London but they probably don't and if they do I don't know anything about it so this never happend and I don't own either of them.
Author's Notes: I realised the other day I have a lot of half finished Nalex's lying around so my new aim is to finish the damn things. I stole the title from Cobra Starship because that is who I was listening too when I finished this. Constructive crit and general comments are very much welcome:)


Nate was lying back in bed, his face illuminated by the soft glow of his laptop which was lying on top of the covers, propped up on his outstretched legs. It was 3am in London and even though he'd gotten used to the time difference over the last four days a sudden bout of insomnia had hit him out of the blue the moment he'd set foot on the island. Alex had suggested countless causes and forced on him a few possible solutions. Nate's favourite by far being the hot bath idea because in an effort to get Nate to actually try to find some way to sleep Alex had promised him he'd try out all the same techniques he forced on Nate and having a bath with Alex helped him feel like he wasnt spoiling the trip too much.

Though Alex reassured him he wasn't at all, the trip wasn't about London, it was about them.

In the back of his mind Nate knew what was keeping him awake but he was trying not to think about it

Tonight Alex had tried to stay up with Nate both of them ignoring the texts from back home, asking where they were but when Alex drifted off about an hour ago, Nate had given in to one of Gabe's questions.


Do you at least know where Suarez is?


Just to piss Gabe off he typed in and sent off his one word answer.




He sighed after this, pulling the baseball cap hed left on his head down so it shadowed his eyes and pushing the laptop off his lap, closing it and lying down on his side so he was facing Alex, their faces only a few inches apart. He stared at him for a few minutes, not really thinking of anything at all, just watching Alex's eyelids flicker, his skin illuminated by the moonlight and the street lights because they hadn't bothered to close the curtains. He reached out and curled a strand of Alex's hair around his finger before letting it fall back in place, he pushed the hair lovingly out of his eyes before he realised what he was doing so let his hand fall back in-between their two bodies.

No one knew they were there, it was supposed to be a romantic gesture, staying here in London for their year anniversary, where no one could interfere, where no one could alter their plans because they didn't know they were together.

He watched the other man sleep, feeling something welling up in the pit of his stomach. The urge to kiss him was overwhelming so he placed a simple kiss onto Alex's lips but it felt weird, like someone was there watching them maybe. Whatever it had been it woke Alex up.

His eyes fluttered open and he stared unfocused at Nate, yawning widely. The yawn turned into an apologetic smile and he shook his head.

"Sorry" Alex mumbled his voice heavy with sleep.

"You should sleep," Nate replied as Alex shook his head absent mindly and reached out to push hair out if the younger mans eyes, Nate shivered under his touch.

Alex frowned, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands.

"Did you remove my glasses?"

"You fell asleep," Nate said simply, shrugging.

"Should have woken me up," Alex yawned again, raising a hand to cover his open mouth.

"You need to sleep," Nate said, his voice in monotone.

Alex frowned again, giving Nate a look of concern, "whats up?"

Nate bit his lip, watching Alex's expression as he searched for the words his mind suddenly going blank. After a few moments he sighed.

"Do you think that they'll work it out?" he asked.

Alex gave him a questioning look.

"Since we both didn't tell anyone we were leaving the country, I know it's not for long but people have been trying to contact us, what if they think we're somewhere together?"

Alex smiled as he yawned again, "so what, so we left the country together doesn't mean they'll think we actually are together,"

Nate gave him a withering look, "how many people leave the country as friends without telling anyone, not telling anyone makes it a big deal,"

"We are friends," Alex chuckled as he reached for his glasses, slipping them on.

"Not just friends," Nate replied in a hard tone to counteract Alex's smart ass answer.

"I noticed," Alex grinned, stifling another yawn.

"You should sleep," Nate mumbled.

"So should you," Alex blinked away his heavy lidded eyes, "look Nate I don't think anyones going to give it all that much thought but so what if they do?"

Nate sighed pushing up his baseball hat to scratch his forehead. Alex smiled, placing his hand on the back of Nates head and twisting his fingers into his hair, pressing his lips to the younger mans. Nate kissed back hard, reaching a hand up to cover Alex's, curling the tips of his fingers into Alexs palm. When Alex pulled away Nate leaned into him, his breath heavy on the other mans lips, their noses bumping together. He unhooked Alexs fingers from his hair and brought his hand between them, placing a kiss on Alexs palm and closing his eyes.

"You're mine," he began his voice low, "they'd ruin it if they knew about us,"

Alex moved his hand entwining their fingers together at their side so he could capture Nate's mouth in a passionate kiss. Nate kissed back fervently, squeezing Alex's hand before letting go so he could run a hand down the other mans back, sending a shiver down the bassists spine he tangled his fingers in Nate's hair again, pressing himself closer, their legs entwining. In one quick movement Alex moved so he was on top of Nate, pushing off his baseball hat and straddling him without breaking the kiss. Nate moaned into Alex's mouth as their hips collided, the thin material of their boxers being all that separated their skin. Alex pulled away suddenly-

"Nate," he gasped slightly.

Nate pulled him in for another kiss; Alex returned it quickly before breaking away again.

"Nate," he repeated breathlessly, avoiding Nate's lips as he tried to kiss him again.

"What?" Nate looked up at him, his hands on the other mans hips, his right thumb trailing small circles over his skin.

"This is between us you know," Alex began, his breathing heavy.

"What?" Nate repeated, staring up at him, confused, through his hair.

"This doesn't involve anyone else," Alex continued, "if anyone knew, this doesn't involve them, they're not part of this, it's just us and I would never let anyone ruin this okay?"

But, Nate took a moment to gather his thoughts, look I know it sounds selfish but I just dont want to share you with anyone, youre mine and if they know they will, everyone we know, in some way, be kind of involved in our relationship.

Alex smiled, staring down fondly at the younger man, No they wouldnt be and itd be weird if they were, everyone else, theyre just bystanders and theyre probably not even looking on that much. Like I said, I would never let anyone ruin this and I really want to tell the world Im in love with you, Nate Novarro.

Nate didn't reply just pressed a quick kiss against his lips, his hands skimming up Alexs back so his fingers could thread themselves in his hair.

Alex buried his face in Nate's neck, stifling a yawn.

"I love you," he murmured.

"You should sleep," Nate smiled softly.

Alex laughed, pressing kisses along Nates jaw.

"I'm wide awake," he whispered in Nate's ear, "I can think of things I'd rather be doing anyway,"

He leant down to kiss Nate again.


Nate answered the call automatically without looking at the caller ID and winced as he heard Gabe's voice, crackly from the ocean separating them.

"Seriously, where are you?"

Nate rolled the answer over on his tongue, his gaze focused ahead on Alex, who had his camera in hand, taking a picture of him looking nervous on the phone. He bit his lip as the flash went off, finding his answer.


"Where is somewhere?" Gabe sounded a little exasperated now.

"I don't know the exact co-ordinates but the companys good and its kind of romantic in a the-place-isnt-that-great-but-its-okay-because-who-youre-with-somehow-makes-it-the-most-amazing-place-in-the-world," Nate nodded even though Gabe couldn't see him, "you should come here with Bill sometime,"

"Who are you with?" Gabe didnt sound annoyed, just curious.

Suarez, Nate could feel the nerves bouncing around in his throat but he pressed the end call button before he could hear Gabes reaction as Alex pulled the baseball hat off of Nate's head.

"Can't see your eyes," Alex smirked as Nate made a grab for the hat and deliberately pulled it low over his eyes.

Alex smiled warmly down at him, cupping the drummers face in his hands.

You are a complete sap, Nate said softly.

Fuck you, Alex grinned, leaning down to kiss him.

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